Brian complained that he couldn’t remember details of his own life story, it was like watching a blank canvas when he became introspective about his life. An intelligent man, he was good at analysis and abstract thought, but he couldn’t recall his own experience and felt unnerved by this.
His own history was a mystery to him, and his only memory was of being alone and in his parents’ bedroom, in a panic. Suspecting this wasn’t a medical condition, I shared with him my hypothesis that he had blanked out his life’s history as a self-protection mechanism; the lack of personal memories were the manifestation of a second order dissociation which he had adopted as protection against the pain of first order dissociation—abandonment.
As he listened to this theory about why he couldn’t remember his own life, vague early memories began to surface. When we processed these early memories with the sentences of the Logosynthesis Basic Procedure, he reacted with strong kinesthetic reactions.
We worked with each memory, one at a time. Each time, the distress was greatly diminished, and new memories and traumatic events associated with shame and loneliness surfaced and were processed. At the end of the session Brian said, “this is going to change my life!”
I shared that I expected more repressed memories would surface, now that his subconscious mind has learned that these could be processed and resolved. Brian didn’t need to build a wall in his own mind anymore to protect himself against the deepest pain of abandonment.
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