Jealousy is a frozen complex of emotions and cognitions, that contains several components:
1. A fantasy that you need another person to be happy: You’re not an autonomous person.
2. A fantasy, that the other person needs to be, to behave or to perform in a certain way for you to be happy: The other person is not autonomous, either.
3. A fantasy that you must also be or do something, so that the other person does what you think you need. The relationship is a contract based on exchange of services.
4. A fantasy that, within this frame of thought and emotion, there is another person, who’s able to deliver more than you do: power, money, sex, youth, attention, intelligence or whatever.
5. A fantasy that in the end you’ll be abandoned.
All these fantasies share the common component that, when you’re jealous, you’re disconnected from Essence, you try to use the relationship to compensate for that loss and to cover up the corresponding abandonment. The relationship is your window to Essence, and your partner threatens to close it.
This process freezes your personal and spiritual development. It is complicated by the fact that society actively and consequently supports all of the above fantasies. They have stabilised the structure of marriage as a cell of larger societal organisms like extended families and neighbourhoods.
Logosynthesis restores reality in relationships. That can mean reconciliation with your own deficits and/or those of the partner. It can mean separation because of those same deficits. Reconnection with Essence – in other words: love – can emerge from both options – reconciliation or separation.
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